Pasadena Couples Therapy
Takeaway: Every relationship comes with its own set of hurdles. Whether it's the daily grind, conflicting goals, or outside stressors, even the best couples can hit rough patches. Fortunately, there's a way to overcome these challenges.
The therapists at Mixed Roots Psychotherapy specialize in couples therapy, helping you and your partner strengthen your bond, rekindle the connection, and grow together. Take that first step towards a happier, healthier relationship with Dr. Lau Branson by your side.
Are you experiencing miscommunications, disconnection, or frustration in your intimate relationship? Couples therapy is a great place to work through relationship challenges, learn how to communicate and connect better, or figure out whether you want to go to the next level of commitment in your relationship.
A couples therapist can help you get to the root of your relationship issues and help you find the way forward. It is very normal for married couples or long-term partners to get counseling during transitional seasons, after infidelity, or during periods of disconnection.
Many couples wait to seek therapy until the issues have become severe or ingrained, but you don’t have to wait until the relationship is at the point of crisis to seek support. Tackling issues earlier can help prevent heartache down the road.
At Mixed Roots, our clinicians use evidence-based modalities (such as Emotionally-Focused Therapy and The Gottman Method) to help couples gain clarity, rebuild trust, and deepen their connection.
Does this sound like you and your partner?
When arguments happen, they never get fully resolved. Resentment has been building up between you, and you can’t seem to lessen it. You feel stuck in a loop that replays over and over again in your interactions, leaving you both feeling unheard and misunderstood.
Perhaps interactions with each other have become more hostile or distant over time. Perhaps your sex life doesn’t feel fulfilling (or never did). Perhaps you have encountered differences between you that feel unresolvable. Or perhaps you can just feel that something between you is “off.”
These types of struggles are very common and completely normal, but they can be very distressing. The quality of our intimate relationship greatly affects our day-to-day quality of life and our emotions. Some of our most raw emotions come out from interactions with our intimate partner.
Whether you have been married for decades or have only been dating a short time, you don’t have to struggle with these issues alone. A skilled couples therapist can provide an objective, neutral space where these issues can be untangled and where your relationship can receive support and direction.
If so, couples therapy in Pasadena might be for you!
Many people wrestle with whether to try couples therapy because they are uncertain whether it will really benefit them. Inviting a couples therapist into the intimate details of your relationship is vulnerable and sometimes painful. However, this risk is often worth it. Here are some signs that you could benefit from couples counseling:
You feel like you keep having the same arguments, but are no closer to resolving them.
If you and your partner are getting stuck in repetitive arguments and interactions, you might greatly benefit from the objective perspective of a trained couples therapist. A couples therapist can help deescalate the intensity of your arguments and work to understand both of your perspectives. Often couples can feel like they are speaking completely different languages to each other. An experienced couples therapist can help you get on the same page.
There has been a betrayal in the relationship.
Infidelity and dishonesty cause huge ruptures in intimate relationships. These are deeply painful experiences that require a lot of processing to heal. Part of the work may be figuring out whether both partners want to continue in the relationship or exploring whether rebuilding trust may be possible. Couples therapy can provide a safe container in which these questions can be held and explored. A skilled couples therapist can also help guide you in the process of repair and rebuilding trust.
You have experienced an external crisis that has impacted your relationship.
Perhaps you have both experienced a family tragedy, a financial crisis, a job layoff, or a stressful situation with your children. Or perhaps one or both partners has a traumatic past that is impacting the relationship. Crises and traumas can be very challenging to process and heal from, and the impact of these experiences on an intimate partnership can be complex. Couples therapy can help you as a couple process the crisis, navigate its impact, and learn to support each other through it.
You are trying to decide whether to marry or move in together.
Many couples marry or move in together out of the momentum of passion and attraction without thinking through all that commitment entails. Premarital therapy or therapy pre-move in can help you start the next phase of your relationship with a strong foundation and with stronger relationship skills.
How marriage and couples counseling can help
The challenges couples face are as varied and nuanced as people themselves are. However, a trained couples counselor can help you identify the roots of your issues and provide a roadmap of how to move forward and improve the quality and closeness of the relationship.
Here are a few of the potential benefits of working with a couples therapist:
Couples therapy is a place where each of you can feel heard and seen.
At Mixed Roots, we work with each of our couples to create a space where each of you can share honestly and be understood. This helps reset your nervous systems, promote a sense of safety, and increase each of your capacities to be reflective and communicate.
Couples therapy can help you build secure attachment to each other.
At Mixed Roots, we use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as our primary modality and theory in our couples work. Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most researched methods of couples counseling and has been found to be effective in improving marital satisfaction and sustaining that change over time.
EFT is premised on the idea that couples are emotionally attached to each other, and that attachment can be secure or insecure. Insecure attachment can manifest in a couple different patterns, namely the anxious (preoccupied) attachment style, the avoidant (dismissive) attachment style, and the disorganized (fearful-avoidant) attachment style.
Couples therapy can help you not only identify you and your partner’s attachment styles and the interactional patterns those create between you, but couples therapy can help you heal your attachment wounds and build more secure attachment together.
Couples therapy can equip you with communication and connection tools.
Many issues between couples can be resolved or greatly reduced by learning better communication skills. In couples therapy, you can learn regulation strategies to help lessen the intensity of both of your emotions during conflict.
You can also learn how to express your needs and perspectives to each other in a way that is less likely to trigger arguments. Many of the communication and connection tools we equip you with at Mixed Roots come from The Gottman Method, a couples therapy methodology that is highly backed by research.
Meet Our Team of Pasadena Couples Therapists
At Mixed Roots Psychotherapy, our specialty is complexity. The points of tension between couples can be quite nuanced and complex, and we use our wealth of learning and lived understanding of complexity to help couples navigate through that complexity to gain clarity, experience deeper connection with each other, and figure out how to take meaningful steps forward.
Our team is made up of professional therapists from diverse, complex backgrounds who understand the nuances and challenges of navigating life from the in-between.
Each of us has years of training, years of experience working with a diverse array of clients, and significant life experiences that have shaped us to be attuned to the complexities of others’ struggles.
In our couples work, we each bring the richness of our life experiences, training, and expert listening skills to bear to empower couples in the midst of whatever challenges they are facing.
Noah Lau Branson, PsyD
Noah Lau Branson, PsyD, the founder of Mixed Roots, is a licensed clinical psychologist who primarily engages in depth work with people who have tried therapy but have not experienced the positive change they long for. Dr. Branson identifies as mixed race, Chinese and White, and specializes in supporting people with complex identities. He works with many interracial couples, helping them grow in understanding of each other and deepen their connection.
Lindsey Ward, MA
Lindsey Ward, MA, a psychological associate, is a pre-licensed therapist who also holds a Holistic Health Practitioner degree. He identifies as mixed race (African American, Native American, Caucasian, Japanese), and he approaches mental health from a holistic perspective, influenced by elders of diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds. He is passionate about helping couples navigate difficult emotions, grasp each other’s complexities, and rekindle the joy and essence of connection.
Shaya Aguilar, MA
Shaya Aguilar, MA, a psychological associate, is a pre-licensed therapist who also has a master’s degree in ministry. She identifies as a mixed-race Latina therapist with Mexican and European roots, and she approaches clinical work from a relational, culturally responsive, and holistic lens. She specializes in working with cross-cultural couples and couples in which trauma is impacting the relationship.
What is a couples therapy session?
At Mixed Roots, couples therapy begins with creating a safe environment where each of you feels understood.
This will help reset your nervous systems, promote a sense of safety, create connection, and increase each of your capacities to be reflective and communicate.
We dig into understanding each of your life stories and how your life experiences formed expectations and desires about the world, love, communication, conflict, gender roles, and intimate relationships.
We then move into tackling the particular issues you want to address, whether you want to resolve a conflict, build greater intimacy, work through a betrayal, learn better communication skills, or discern the next steps of your relationship.
Identifying Your Relationship Patterns
In order to bring change and growth in your relationship, we first have to fully understand the relationship in its current state. One of the foundational aspects of couples therapy is mapping out your relationship’s unique patterns.
This involves naming your strengths, learning where you get stuck, seeing how you trigger each other, understanding your communication styles, and gaining greater awareness of each of your longings in the relationship.
The patterns couples are engaged in are often subconscious, so identifying and naming these patterns empowers you with the awareness to make different choices in your interactions, which can enable you to shift the dynamic of your relationship.
Clearing up Misunderstandings
Another common issue that often comes up in couples therapy is misunderstandings and miscommunications.
This is particularly common with interracial or intercultural couples, but can also affect all couples.
Whether the misunderstanding arises from perceived similarities (which can lead to assumptions), different communication styles, or elevated emotions getting in the way of perceiving a partner’s intentions, we help couples slow down to get to the bottom of these miscommunications and equip you with more effective communication skills moving forward.
Uncovering Deeper Emotions
Emotions are at the center of attachment, and emotions are usually a key component of conflict, negative relational patterns, and relationship desires. Whether couples are struggling with their sex life or with making a joint decision, emotions are at the center of couples’ distress.
For this reason, much of couples therapy focuses on uncovering the emotions happening within each partner and learning to build the trust and bravery necessary to share vulnerable emotions with each other.
Rebuilding Trust
When trust has eroded or broken down in a couple, repairing trust can seem impossible or elusive.
In couples therapy, we first work to fully understand the rupture, giving space for both partners to communicate how the rupture impacted them and giving space for each person to hear and acknowledge how the rupture impacted their partner.
We then work together on creating a pathway forward, figuring out what amends are needed in order to be able to work toward forgiveness and/or rebuilding trust in each other.
Why choose Mixed Roots Psychotherapy for Couples Counseling?
There are many therapy practices in California that offer couples counseling, and it can be confusing figuring out which therapist to choose.
Opening up the ins and outs of your intimate relationship to a stranger is vulnerable, so the most important criteria to look for in a couples therapist is someone you can trust, someone both you and your partner feel comfortable with and understood by.
This is part of the reason having a phone conversation with your prospective therapist before you start sessions can be helpful.
Secondarily, you can also consider the couples therapist’s therapy approach. At Mixed Roots, we use a culturally aware approach that takes into account the nuances and complexity of each partner’s identity and story.
We use Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) as our primary couples therapy theory. We also incorporate parts of the Gottman Method. You can find more details about these approaches below.
Culturally Aware Approach
A person’s view and expectations of marriage, communication, conflict, and gender, among other things, are deeply influenced by the culture of the household and community a person is raised in.
Some of these norms might be obvious, but often our deepest values and beliefs are hidden to us because they feel so normal to us. Like a fish has no awareness of the water it swims in, we may have little awareness of our own expectations around things like communication and conflict.
For example, what might be considered an aggressive or critical tone to one person, might seem like a normal way to voice a need or desire to another person. What might seem like an unhealthy closeness to parents to one person might be an accepted cultural norm for another person. It is easy to make assumptions about our partner’s intentions if we don’t explore what certain behaviors mean to them or what their internal experience is.
In couples therapy at Mixed Roots, we explore such values, perceptions, and norms to bring greater awareness to what is going on for each partner. This clears up misunderstandings, can open up avenues for deeper connection, and sets the stage for productive conversation around what culture the couple wants to create together in their home.
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) - Rebuilding Intimacy
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (created by Dr. Sue Johnson) is a research-based approach that focuses on restructuring negative patterns of interaction and fostering emotional connection between partners. Grounded in attachment theory, EFT helps couples identify and express their underlying emotions and needs, leading to greater intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
By promoting a secure emotional bond, EFT equips couples with the skills to navigate conflicts and challenges while deepening their emotional connection. This is at the core of how we conduct therapy, and we have seen amazing results as we work at deeper emotional and relational bonding.
Restoration Therapy (RT) - Restoring Connection and Wholeness
Restoration Therapy (created by Dr. Terry Hargrave) emphasizes the importance of repairing emotional injuries and restoring relational health through empathetic understanding and attuned responsiveness.
Restoration Therapy uses experiential exercises, guided interventions, education about neurobiology, and mapping out relational cycles to empower couples with the tools for resilient and fulfilling relationships.
The Gottman Method - Learning Practical Relationship Skills
The Gottman Method (created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman) improves relationships by equipping couples with tangible communication and connection skills.
The Gottman Method focuses on building friendship between couples, working through conflict, and building vision for the future. It offers techniques on how couples can express their needs, deescalate conflict, deal with perpetual problems, and build vision for the future.
FAQs about Marriage Counseling in Pasadena
Here are answers to a few of the commonly asked questions about marriage therapy. If you have further questions, please contact us.
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There are numerous types of mental health professionals that provide couples therapy, including psychologists, marriage and family therapists (MFTs), social workers (LSWs), and licensed professional clinical counselors (LPCCs). Each type of mental health professional receives slightly different training. At Mixed Roots, all of our therapists are psychologists or psychological associates. The benefit of working with a psychologist or psychological associate is they have years of training in depth work and in numerous psychological frameworks, giving them deep insight into whatever issues or dynamics a couple may bring to couples therapy. A therapist’s credentials are only one component of finding a good fit, however. Both partners feeling safe and seen by their therapist is also essential for couples therapy to be effective.
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The terms “couples therapy” and “couples counseling” are often used interchangeably. Other common terms include “marriage counseling,” “premarital therapy,” or “relationship counseling.” All these terms describe therapy in which a couple participates jointly. You don’t have to be married or in a particular type of relationship in order to get couples therapy. If you are curious to learn more about couples counseling or are interested in getting the support of a couples therapist in your relationship, you can reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consult with one of our therapists.
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It is very normal for married couples to go to couples counseling, although unfortunately many couples wait a long time before seeking professional help out of shame or fear about what getting couples therapy might mean for their relationship. Couples therapy can be helpful in crisis, but it can also be helpful to go earlier on as a preventative measure before relationship issues become overwhelming.
Couples therapy is not recommended if there is ongoing physical or sexual abuse happening in the relationship or if one or both partners has an active addiction. Couples therapy is about increasing closeness and trust, which requires safety. If there is active abuse or addiction happening, true safety cannot be established. In those situations, addressing the abuse or addiction first, whether through individual therapy, support groups, or rehab programs, is recommended before seeking couples counseling.
Improve your overall relationship satisfaction with couples therapy Pasadena.
If you are feeling stuck in your relational dynamics or simply want support as you navigate important decisions in your relationship, couples therapy could be very helpful for you. At Mixed Roots, we take into account the full complexity of the couples we work with, and we can help you gain clarity, deepen connection, repair wounds, and make positive changes in your relationship.
If you are interested in exploring couples therapy, reach out for a 15-minute consultation, and we can match you with one of our couples therapists to take the next steps toward building a more satisfying relationship.