California Intergenerational Trauma Therapy

Intergenerational trauma is the way wounds and patterns born from traumatic experiences can continue to live within a family long after the original event has passed. Ways of surviving—fear, silence, anger, shame, hypervigilance—can be passed from one generation to the next, leaving descendants carrying pieces of a story that began before them.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to treating intergenerational trauma. Some people benefit most from processing repressed emotions and unresolved hurts and wrongs passed along by family members while others may need to engage in embodied healing rituals to release feelings tied to a deceased family member. Many clients experience tremendous benefit merely from exploring this topic in the safe, open, reflective environment that good psychotherapy provides.

Sometimes there is a feeling that what you are carrying didn’t entirely begin with you. You may recognize certain wounds, fears, reactions, or ways of relating that seem to echo throughout your family, sometimes stretching back generations. Some wounds or struggles may also confuse you because they seem out of proportion to your own life experience.

Some signs that you may be experiencing intergenerational trauma include:

• Repeating family patterns. You notice the same anger, shame, silence, addiction, emotional distance, anxiety, or relationship difficulties appearing across generations.

• Reactions that feel bigger than the moment. Certain experiences may bring up intense fear, anger, shame, or a need to protect yourself that feels connected to something deeper.

• Carrying emotions you don’t fully understand. You may experience grief, fear, guilt, or a sense of responsibility without always knowing where it comes from.

• Recognizing your family in yourself. Perhaps you hear your mother’s tone in your voice, recognize your father’s reactions in your own, or find yourself repeating ways of relating that you witnessed growing up.

• Living by old family survival rules. Messages like don’t trust anyone, don’t show weakness, keep family problems private, or always take care of others first may continue to shape how you move through the world.

• Feeling disconnected from your history or culture. There may be missing stories, unspoken losses, cultural disconnection, or parts of your family history that no one wants to talk about.

None of these experiences alone necessarily means that you are carrying intergenerational trauma. Rather, they can be invitations to become curious about your own story and ask: What happened in my family? What was passed down to me? What still serves me, and what am I finally ready to put down?

When I sit with clients struggling with , often time there is a pattern of speech or behavior; a reaction, a tone, an inflection that the client knows comes from mom, dad, grandparents, or other family members who carry the same sickness, the same burden that they no longer want to carry around with them any longer.  Though these patterns may have initially been useful or essential in surviving the traumatic event, the patterns continue beyond that original inciting incident and are passed down to subsequent generations. 

Oftentimes this takes the client on a crash course through their family history.  I encourage them to do as much detective work as they can into learning about what happened.  What did my family go through?  What were these relatives like?  What did they suffer through and what did that feel like?  How did it impact them and ultimately get passed down to me and perhaps my siblings, etc.. Some information you may be able to find out from taking to relatives who can answer questions about the past, impactful events you weren’t present or alive for, relatives you never met and what they went through, how trauma manifested in them and their lives. Some of your family history will be known and some details will inevitably be unknown, but what’s important here isn’t necessarily about you have an impeccable family history put together, rather that you get insight you can into the nature of the wound you feel inside, the flavor of it’s essence, what it looks, sounds, smells and feels like.  

Even if it’s just a glimpse, glimmer or taste of the past- it now lives in you.  

Where is it stored in your body?  How does it affect my thoughts, mindset, emotions such as fears, insecurities and anxiety?  Does this remind me of anything I’ve read about in a book, seen in a movie or a story I’ve heard told before?  Based on what the client identifies as the dynamic most alive in them, that informs where we go from there.  This is our starting place in intergenerational trauma therapy.

Yes, therapy is often covered by insurance. At Mixed Roots Psychotherapy, we work as private-pay, out-of-network providers, but many clients submit superbills to seek reimbursement from their insurance plans. We also discuss fees transparently and collaborate with you on a schedule and frequency that feels sustainable for both your emotional needs and your budget. We also have a number of sliding scale spots that we offer to clients based on financial need.